To heal core wounds, identify the negative emotions and let them go so you feel better from the inside out.

Emotional wounds are simple to find, but not easy to heal. It can feel like a lot of baggage.  

The key to releasing an emotional wound is to find the root cause. When I started healing my abandonment wound many years ago, I realized it was all about a feeling of loss.

The loss or scarcity keeps you tethered to thoughts of what you’re lacking.

We’re going to talk about how to heal, what it will take to change your identity from the inside out, and much more.

This post will help you understand how to heal core wounds.

What is a Core Wound?

You’ll form a core wound when pain and emotions get suppressed and internalized. Your inner world feels unstable and you experience instability on the outside.

They form through traumatic experiences in childhood or some form of emotional neglect.

A core wound may begin in a past lifetime or a past event in this lifetime.

Core wounds are often referred to as inner child wounds. Unresolved core wounds may start in childhood but they last long into adult life.

A core wound forms through painful experiences that define who you. This then drives your actions.

That energy lingers, grows, and creates an entire belief system. Your beliefs create the story you tell yourself. This is how your identity forms.

Your identity begins to justify the validity of the wound creating unnecessary problems. As you age, you may realize that you don’t know your true self.

You may not even be aware of a problem in daily life until you’re so stuck, that you’re forced to find a solution.

This is when the shadow work begins.

The Abandonment Wound

Before you incarnated, your soul chose your parents and your major life experiences.

Soul choices take karma from previous lifetimes into account. As well as the lessons you need to learn.

The reason you learn lessons is to move you closer to enlightenment each lifetime.

Human beings all share the same collective wound. It’s an abandonment wound.

The abandonment wound stems from a feeling of disconnect. If you’re working through abandonment, you likely incarnated into an emotionally neglectful family.

Even if you had everything you needed, you may crave more emotional support.

If you had to take care of yourself or felt like you weren’t listened to in childhood, you have an abandonment wound.

As an adult, you may work hard for love and give more than you receive. 

You may believe that if something is wrong, it’s up to you to fix it. It may feel like no matter what you do, it’s never enough.

Not only does your effort still go unnoticed, but you also feel unappreciated. 

This cycle spins into a need for attention and validation from other people. You’ll want someone to notice you and tell you you’re doing a great job.

You’ll want to feel appreciated, like you matter.

The abandonment wound has a flip-side. Sometimes you’re so afraid of loss, you’ll stay in toxic situations too long.

You’ll struggle to say no, even when you’re giving more than you receive. This is a boundary issue combined with a deep fear of loss.

You’re more comfortable in chaos because it’s familiar. Peace and stability may feel boring and restless.

You’ll tell yourself that you’re afraid to abandon others. But then you’ll sacrifice your needs and settle for less than you deserve.

This core wound determines your story and identity. 

It’s natural for fears to come up when it’s time to heal and grow.

How do you identify core wounds?

Core wounds affect everyone on some level. 

To identify your core wound, take some time to reflect on your past experiences. It’s easier to look for negative experiences and areas that are stuck, or imbalanced.

These tend to stick with you in memory.

Some common areas of conflict are relationships, career, health, and finances.

For example, you may be in disagreement with a member of your family.

Or no matter what you do, your finances keep spiraling.

You may be attracting the same authoritarian boss at every job no matter how often you switch.

Try to stay detached and give yourself some grace as you assess the areas of improvement. The information and insights you receive will help you heal.

I’ve only seen one single core wound in my work with over a thousand people from all over the world.

It is the abandonment core wound. People view abandonment differently depending on their experiences.

Abandonment is a very emotional wound. It’s reactive because it’s the inner child feeling let down.

As an adult, this feels like instability and a need to control. When you feel out of control, it’s because your emotions are spiraling.

When an adult can’t regulate their emotions, their inner child is acting out for attention.

This usually shows up as reactivity, emotional manipulation, control, or unstable emotional reactions.

It shows up with five major symptoms that I’ve outlined below:

Rejection

An inability to love and accept yourself causes you to feel trapped. You’ll want to escape when things get challenging.

This triggers feelings of low self-worth. 

You may feel ashamed or guilty about past choices where you didn’t honor yourself or your truth.

You’ll find it difficult to trust yourself and others. This stems from a deep fear of failure that causes you to reject yourself and your goals out of fear of losing them.

Intimacy

Shame or guilt arises with a fear of intimacy. This can come up if you’ve experienced any sexual trauma, including assault.

If an intimacy wound is showing up, you may feel unsafe around other people. 

You’ll need to work through anything or anyone that caused you to repress how you feel.

Vulnerability

Vulnerability comes up when you’ve experienced rejection for being yourself. This can come up around authenticity and vulnerability.

Vulnerability comes up a lot with creating something new in any area of your life. 

The act of changing causes vulnerable feelings. Healing vulnerability means building internal strength, courage, and resilience.

It’s proving to yourself that you have what it takes. 

The world will reflect your truth to you.

Hold the vision and trust the process despite other people’s opinions.

Responsibility

Responsibility wounding shows up in two different ways that are two sides of the same coin.

You’ll either take too much responsibility, including over-giving and people-pleasing.

When you try to prove your worth in this way, it causes severe burnout.

Or, you’ll take little or no responsibility. You’ll slip into complacency, blaming others for what you aren’t achieving in your life. 

Either way, you’ll never feel satisfied.

Burden

Feeling burdened often shows up as a sense of dread in the pit of your stomach. It causes you to feel overwhelmed by day-to-day tasks.

You’ll worry about disappointing others. 

Burden is the worry that you’ll make the wrong choice. You’ll have a reason for everything that you can’t seem to do.

How to Heal a Core Wound

The first step to healing a core wound is to look at the areas of your life that are not pleasing to you. We do this with love, compassion, and acceptance. 

Emotional wounds aren’t easy to track down because there is shame attached.

Being honest with yourself will help you let your guard down so you can begin to see your wound. 

To heal a core wound, it’s important to be patient and give yourself time during the healing process.

Emotional pain impacts the nervous system. Negative emotion gets stored in the body, so the nervous system needs time to heal and reset.

Healing begins with isolating the main symptom or issue. If you have an unhealed core wound, you likely project your pain outward.

The best way is to pay attention to what’s going on outside of you for clues. It doesn’t matter whether you are controlling what’s going on.

Look for areas in your life where things are stuck or in conflict. Use your emotional body for cues. You can feel physical sensations that may point you in a specific direction.

Once you’ve done that, turn it inward and ask yourself how you may be contributing in some way to the conflict.

Your belief system may be the reason that you’re engaging in the conflict. See if there are any false beliefs contributing to the dysfunction.

And always remember that beliefs are not facts. They are beliefs that may or may not be true.

All your beliefs make up belief systems and these create stories that you live out.

For example, let’s say you attract uncommitted people. See if there are areas where you haven’t committed to yourself.

Next, take your journal out and draw a line down the middle of a sheet of paper.

On the left side, write down the experience you’re having. On the right side, write down how you’re engaging in or entertaining this experience.

Use this as an opportunity to take responsibility for your role in this experience.

Healing work is about taking responsibility for the younger version of you. Life begins to improve when you meet your own needs and your inner child feels safe.

You can build confidence and develop a sense of self that is all your own. Lack of trust will swap with trust.

An important part of healing is extending grace and compassion for your past choices.

The healing journey can have a lot of ups and downs. Past wounds change us. 

It will take time, space, and detachment to see who you are and learn to love yourself as you are.

The good news is, that it’s possible to feel worthy of love and feel better.

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This post will help you understand how to heal core wounds.